Undressing Your Inner Demons (Part 3)

In part 1 of this series, we discussed the fact that your subconscious conditioning and past programming can grow and fester into a demon that hinders your ability to achieve your goals (and in ways that you usually won’t notice. In part 2, we further investigated that if you are struggling to achieve your goals, you’d be wise to address your past programming first, because the experiences that live in your subconscious are like the roots of a tree. And if you want better fruits (better outcomes), it starts at the roots (your past programming).

We also learned about a brilliant man named T. Harv Eker, who was my inspiration for writing this blog series. In his book, The Secrets of a Millionaire Mind, Mr. Eker describes some ways that your past experiences can condition or program your mind. He says you can categorize your past experience in 3 ways: verbal programming, modeling, and specific incidents. Let’s take a closer look:

Are the past stories/words/phrases you heard positively or negatively impacting your current goals?

Verbal programming: What you heard. We are very susceptible to the words we hear in our daily lives, especially when we are young. From birth to adulthood, we are spending a lot of energy trying to make sense of the world. Everything is new and novel, and we take it in like a sponge. So, the little phrases people say, the stories we’re told, and the insults we hear can burrow into our subconscious very easily.

I'm not just talking about the stories, insults, or phrases that are directed at you. A lot of our conditioning comes from the things we hear about others. It's common to grow up in an environment that makes a lot of distinctions between 'us' and 'them;' between poor people and rich people, amateur athletes and professionals, fat and skinny, etc. etc.

When what you hear constantly tells you that you are part of a certain class, or that life is a certain way for you, or that you can't do the same things that other people do, then you can quickly start to believe those opinions as truth.

So, even if your conscious mind really wants to believe something else, your preprogrammed, subconscious mind has harnessed the lessons that you've been hearing over and over again from your parents, the media, cultural norms, etc. (lessons that contribute to your hidden identity of inadequacy, shame, or 'wrongness').

What have you heard? What have people, culture, society, marketers, etc. said about a you vs. them or us vs. them mentality? What have they said that may have created distinctions about your adequacy or competency? What stories/phrases do you remember hearing?

These stories have likely been more impactful on your psyche than you think. Consider how those stories may be affecting you right now. Do you think you'd have more success if you heard a different story?

P.S. It's important not to blame the people or conditions that told you these stories. The lessons you learned may have been perfectly valid lessons for you at the time. Today, though, you may benefit from a different story. It's not worth your time to dwell on who or what to blame. Instead use your time to rewrite the story.

Who are/were the models in your life?

Modeling: What you saw. Even if the stories of your past weren't explicitly stated out loud, can still pick up on a lot of psychological undertones just by watching other people behave. Most likely, those whom you spent the most time with as a child are the people you end up modeling (your parents, guardians, and family members).

When you think about your childhood, which authority figures were around you a lot? Who do you remember looking up to? Who do you remember paying attention to?

What did these people model for you? What were their behaviors like and how do those behaviors relate to the demon you're trying to address?

Specific incidents: What you experienced. Do you remember certain moments in your life that seem to be related to your demon? How did you feel in these moments? Did they make you feel pain, shame, regret, disgust, fear, doubt, inadequacy, etc.? Maybe you were punished for certain behaviors. Or maybe it was an accident, but it hurt you so bad that it left a lasting memory. If the event was painful and memorable, it likely had a big impact on your psyche and is worth paying attention to.

Think deeply about these events and figure out how they influenced your state of mind. What thoughts and feelings were running through your head immediately after the event? Right now, what thoughts and feelings are running through your head as you imagine the past incident?

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The specific events that you experience, the things that were modeled to you, and words that you heard have all merged into a big ball of perspective that impacts how you see the world (and may even determine whether the first thing you see in the picture to the right is an older woman or younger lady). Not only that, but these programs shape your subconscious patterns of thought. Therefore, it's easy to see that the reason why you have or haven't achieved the things you want in life starts with your programming.

Your programming determines how you think (by shaping your subconscious patterns of thought). Your thoughts determine how you feel about something. And your feelings will inform you to act or not act. Ultimately, the actions you choose to take (not acting is a choice, too) will result in some outcome (the outcome that you currently are witnessing or living through).

P-->T-->F-->A = O. Remember this sequence from part 2? No, it's not the acronym, PTFO (Pass The F*** Out). It's the sequence of events leading up to an outcome.

Past Programming --> Thoughts --> Feeling --> Actions = Outcomes.

Your life always happens in this order. It's inevitable. There's no way around it. You physically cannot skip a step or remove a step. The order will always stay the same (*see the caveat below*).

So, if you want a different outcome in your life, you must start by addressing how your past programming is influencing your thought pattern. To achieve your goals or make a change to your current state, you have to undress the demons that live in your subconscious mind. In doing so, you can take away their power while you work on weaving a new story into your mind, one that is more productive for your goals.

But it's not enough to simply say that your past programming influences your subconscious mind. If we expect to undress our demons, we need to why know this is all happening. For that, we are going to have an in-depth discussion about energy, matter, time, and space. It's going to get a little Star Trek-y up in here, but I'll hold off on the nerdiness for Part 4 of this series. To be honest, I don't think my brain can handle it right now, either. Stay tuned...

*I agree with Rich Roll that sometimes mood can follow after action (in his words, mood follows action). He espouses that if you're not in the mood to do something, act anyway. Acting first will get you started, and the process of pursuing a goal will eventually lead to you liking and enjoying the activity more. Then, you will probably find yourself "in the mood" to do it more often.

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Written by Parker Hewes, a chiropractor, author, American Ninja Warrior, and serial adventurer living in Salt Lake City, Utah. Parker believes learning and growing are the keys to living a full life. He started Getting Gooder to help others learn and grow, so they can create the happiest, healthiest, and wealthiest lives imaginable.

Parker also knows that our ideal life gets even better when we have others to share it with. So, keep following Parker and the Getting Gooder community as we build our ideal, together.